I made it. I finally did. This journey as many in my life has not been in the making for one day or even month. Usually these have taken years. For this precise one, with this mindset of (still fear and anticipation) being able to be here actually, back here to be precise – well this has taken about 6 years. I am now again living in Berlin. Shredded are the letters in which I said I can not return because of heartbreak and the constant reminders of it as the past still flourishes here in it’s own future. I am back.
In the past two weeks I have gotten my Anmeldung. Moved into temporary/long-term housing, walked the streets & felt the senses of my past, have gone out to 1 dance party (a huge one for me), am cooking at my own place, look forward to my boyfriend visiting me again, and today got a mini-babysitting job. I will also add, diverted a friend-breakup, and generally coping better with anxiety. I am proud of my small and BIG triumphs of my small life.