The Russian Soul of an African & American me. I really think this is why I am able to empathize and have hunger for the world and it’s people. This is something I am convinced of I have in me.
Peace Corps in many ways I think you are calling me more than I thought I was ready for when I began to pursue you again back in September. I am still fresh in the application process with an interview happening hopefully as early as January, but something tells me it was not all in vain and by an accident that I pressed the send button before I was ready to submit my application two months ago.
I crave to be believed in and supported to pursue something very big in my life. I need it. I ask the Universe to unveil that which is destined for me to grow with and from.
I have also conteplated for months now to just write the X. YES I KNOW THE CONVENTIONAL BULLSHIT stuff that you shouldn’t, yadda, yadda, yadda stuff. But I am me, and I am unafraid to live by my truth. Plus falling flat on my face has showed me that I am resilient, kind, generous, still loving and very much unique in my own ways. Plus yesterday it already made me feel much better after literally months of what felt like growing a mini ball of sadness even inside my body. Let him laugh, or just erase the messages. I am shamelessly unashamed and what the heck do I have to lose in being brave? Nothing. For when you bare it all you are prepared to be naked and that I mean by being naked in your soul. The other nakedness has already been shared.
Perhaps because “the point is to free yourself from what cost your heart even more…” and that is the love which was shared some distant days ago….
In the meantime I am banning myself from facebook for at least two days. Wow.