3 Weeks to Go

I have already shaved my head once more since that last post. I have also bought a laptop so now I can write better…more conveniently, well when I am moved and less lazy. Today, I colored the little bit of hair that was on my head. Marvelous. I think 2018 will continue to be a year of cut and color, I think. Why not? I am not as attached to the hair it seems; plus there are wigs.

In personal life. I am not a good partner…well I am good in knowing that I think as a partner I need to be alone. That’s hard to break down to someone who loves me and wants to “build” a life with and around me….I might not be the one to do it with though. In 23 days its move time again. Again and finally and at last and really? This one for good-good. No matter after that where I end up, it won’t be back here with the folks – that’s for sure.

This 2018 has been real with relationships…and I mean real-real brutal at times, but also really good. Letting go of those who literally do not want me in their lives. I respect that. As is it’s already a congested sort of existence with the interwebs like totally infringing upon each others lives, so instead of fighting what people want. More importantly also, it is about personal boundaries. I realize I have some of my own, just like the people rejecting me from their lives and well I respect our choices. Not everything is so dramatic though. We hurt people, we make them happy and we just all at the end of it all are learning to exist under one roof in this life. With that said I am 23 days from moving. Still a lot to do and a ton of work in between. It will be well, because it IS well all along.

 

 

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Just yesterday I was thinking and I think saw the original image of “Rosie the Riveter” figure with the famous slogan ”We Can Do It!” by J. Howard Miller. And as I have become utterly intrigued, and continuously inspired by the great blog Urbanbushbabes I just moments ago stumbled upon the post in which Cipriana (what a beautiful name, isn’t it?) recreated the image and applied it towards our Natural Hair Movement! Brilliant on so many levels. I have myself been contemplating what this movement means for us  the women of color. Gorgeous in all hues with absolutely astonishingly beautifully diverse hair textures, shapes, and volumes. My beauty standards have absolutely been undergoing a really big transformation these days, I have mentioned this before and I will continue to reinforce this realization further.

I am also toying with my own hair. I took out yet another braid out yet again. And gave myself a “cut” to achieve a shorter style. If there were no monetary constraints and NYC was not a bit far and did not require about two days off from work for me, I think my hair would have been cut already. But I am awful at planning trips as they give me some sort of anxiety and the money is a little tight right now. Plus, I do admit that I am having fun cutting my “braids” off in small installments. ImageIt’s actually really fun. So I will wait for the right moment and so far I am still shooting for the first week of December to embark on my natural hair journey with a big chop. Though I think I have been transitioning for a while now without even realizing it. 

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Since I am currently floating between two households as I am readjusting to my life back in the States from Berlin and the lack of my cozy and stable room of my own there, it is always a treat to come to a room of my own. In a rare moment when I watch the television, I watched yet another episode of Super Soul Sunday on OWN. A recorded show of course. As India Arie pointed out during her interview with Oprah – “Super Soul Sunday is the best show on television.” I think that’s what she said, maybe she was referring to the entire channel – on both counts of which she is supported by me. I am absolutely convinced that Super Soul Sunday is the best television show on television because it is genuine, uplifting, raw, spiritual and very real. It is genuine in the topics…it speaks directly to my intellect and soul. I am very grateful it is here and now.

So India did say a lot of things that also spoke directly to my soul. I just love the candid conversations in this show and how the guests “go there!” to open up and share their truths.

Life is beautiful. And so are these and many other affirmations.

“I am not  your expectations, no, no,

I am not my hair.

I am not this skin.

I am a Soul that lives within”

“Be clear about your intention and the Universe will meet you wherever you are

Aside