I’m Back

Though really I have written just in different places and spaces. Just went browsing down below to read my previous posts. It’s been a while. Like nearly 4 years while. In that time I have written in other spaces, the most prolonged one being my Peace Corps journals which have now vanished. Gratitude (with sarcasm and a sense of wanting to beat someone up) is given to the forces and circumstances which have led to their loss. Last August en route from Ghana to Berlin. I’m sure the customs at Tegel has enjoyed my private thoughts…fick dich (whoever) for enjoying them. Anyways, no need to get too much into that mood.

I haven’t written in ages online really. I think I’ve written a post not too long ago maybe in November of 2016 on one of my older blogs, but honestly I doubt I’ll go back to that site again. It carries too much of the past. Though my memory might not be too good, and this I do not say lightly, it truly is troubling when I’m exceptionally honest with myself, the point to which I recognize how short my memory is on things – it’s well alarming. Probably something I should look into checking while I have my health insurance before this new American regime continues it’s extermination and terrorization of my Brown existance. It’s the era of resistance. Anyways, it feels good to write actually. It really does.

Also while browsing through some emails an inspiration came to mind. I want to find a creative way to share and explore for myself my 1 year and 9 months in West Africa. A tumultuous experience really which ended in a way of being tossed away…. Perhaps a photo exhibition – with music….Ein Fotoausstellung…..something like that? Yeah? Yeah? I think I should do that….

Art and creativity heal after all, don’t they?

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I filmed myself tonight

Tasks accomplished from the morning hours on. Finally laundry done since my return from Berlin. First time in a month, though I have been fortunate that my sister did wash up my clothes for me since I partially live on her couch as well. It was eleven 11:11 when I wrote the last sentence (Taren Guy and Hye Mi – girls this is for you both), nothing happens without a reason.

Fast forward then. I had dancing on my mind for days now. My body was craving the movement and that form of expression I think. I finally danced today, perhaps for more than an hour or so. And I filmed myself doing it. This is my intrinsic form of expression I have come to accept. Dance will always remain in my life. It was as usual glorious. Jessie Ware with Wildest Moments was the muse. The lyrics, voice, composition, and simplicity of it all made me nearly blast the song in the car all day. The rare occasions when I do have a car to drive nowadays.

I am tired now, but I want to end with this. I am grateful for everything in my life. The sea of emotions and multitude of thoughts and realizations. Contemplation, confusions, and ability to function in the midst of it all. To still love and seek and stay humbled.

I actually am an artist and a writer too; and I am building a healthy relationship with myself.

Giving sincere thanks for¬†everything. My eyes are going shut….

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