Of course I am angry. Of course I am hurt. Anger is a product of hurting. While I hurt I am angry but then it will fade and just settle into hurt.
Maybe I hurt because I am hurting people? That could be true as well. Well, right this moment, I am tired and the solution I think to end this cycle is to simply not have relationships with people, that way nobody gets hurt. Not on my account at least. That’s what I can control.
These years have been brutal. I have gone through hurt and disappointments, and complete melting of my innocence. I have hurt and have been irreparably hurt as well. I acknowledge that this is all part of life as well and that it is time to just accept things and myself for all of these things. All of these things. The key has been to find myself in the midst of all these things.
Relationships and life move on. They end to move on. Period.
Starting today I am consciously changed yet again. And more importantly I am also more consciously choosing who and when gets to hurt me and how I myself am going to be complacent in these situations.
Let go even of the people I thought would hold on till my ending days.
This is not out of spite but simple realization that Anger, Disappointment and Pain are not going to be themes of my life. I am not perfect (I don’t expect anyone to be), but I see that my intent and pressures are at a colossal clash that things are just happening at a pace and repetitive manner which I don’t want anymore. My soul doesn’t want it anymore.
Peace to those who want it. I’m not here for more of sadness anymore.